♥ Crying day.
Sunday, March 7, 2010 -{'7:38 AM
I think I couldnt say you hurt me.
It is only myself DAMN stupid to keep on hurt by you.
But..
NVM, you hurt ba.
Cause my heart is belongs to you.
Today is sunday,
last time I have many activity in sunday,
but today I went out with my leaders..
Ya, I should happy,
cause at least still have they accompany me.
Actually we went for work.
After work, they gt a new plan,
E BOX!!
We went to e box,
sing k.
Start from the beginning,
I still fine,
I still can sing well.
But when I choose some songs that like talking abt my situation.
My tear came out,
lucky my leaders didnt saw me cried.
But they knw what is happening.
So, they scold me.
They said me SOA HEI.
They asked me stop love you and dun keep on put my love on you.
I silent!
I said nothing.
But actually my heart is gonna pain till I cant tahan.
I went to toilet,
look at the mirror.
I really think that Im SOA HEI.
But NVM again,
let me continue be a SOA HEI ba,
cause I love you.
Because of him, you never care my feeling.
Although you said you had care my feeling,
but your attitude told me,
YOU DIDNT!
Nvm, it is okays.
because I love you.
Actually Im nt stupid,
but why I can let you hurt again and again?
Because the same reason.
I LOVE YOU!!!!
I asked why you dun care my feeling,
you said you love him, so you just care him.
Do you still remember,
you also love me so much in last time?
How can you hurt me like that?
You can ignore me whole day,
but you said you cant lost me.
Until today, you also said you cant lost me,
and the most important is...
I STILL BELIEVE YOU!!
But, if you really cant lost me,
why you can always ignore me?
Actually I have a present nid to give you,
but now I dun knw when I can see you again.
I dun knw when I can pass it to you.
Nvm, I think you also feel interesting on my present?
because Im not important than your boy.
Sorry, to say too much.
Actually I have no qualification to say too much,
and you wont care what I said.
In your eyes & mind just have him.
You are totally give up me.
You give up every promise that you promise me before.
Nevermind.
I really hope you can care my feeling,
PLEASE DUN TREAT A BOY LIKE THAT WHO LOVE YOU SO MUCH
ok?
I beg you.
and..
God, I beg you too.
KONG SIEW WENG, pls stop crying,
ok?
I will leave here soon,
so you and your boy can couple happily.
Hope he really wont beat you again.
Hope you choose the right one.
Im ok,
just let me keep the sadness..
until the day I leave the world.
♥ TIRED
Saturday, March 6, 2010 -{'9:34 AM
Tired le.
Really hurt enough by you le.
Jeff,
what you said is correct,
think positive ba.
Last night you told me you nt love him,
today you told me you confirm him.
What a big different?
I really feel you are fooling me.
What your blog wrote,
you think that is a best way to me?
You think now you simple give me a girl be my girl friend,
really can help me?
Maybe it is what your own mind thinking,
but nt me.
Why all the people like to help me make any decision?
Can let me choose once ma?
F**k!!!!!
First time said bad word in my blog,
but I think no one care.
Right?
You like me?
You told me many times.
But I really cant feel now.
Heart Dead!!!!
If you really like me,
you wont whole day dun find me and ignore me in full day.
If you really like me,
you wont hurt me again and again.
If you really like me,
you wont changed me from the confirmation to break.
If you really like me,
you wont always care him more than me.
If you really like me,
you wont asked me go to find another girl.
If you really like me,
you want let me alone.
If you really like me,
you wont forget all your promise,even a simple promise.
I remember you said I always said I LOVE YOU to you.
But I think, the word I said most to you is...
NEVERMIND
When you dun care me,
I said nvm.
When you did wrong,
I said nvm.
When you hurt me again and again,
I said nvm.
When you choose him nt me,
I said nvm.
When you said you love me but belongs to him,
I said nvm.
When you ignore & scold me,
I said nvm.
I just knw how to forgive you,
and say nvm.
Therefore, I hurt myself again and again.
But I still remain the same that how much I love you.
When you went out with me, you will repy him so fast,
but when you go out with him,
you can ignore me whole day.
NEVERMIND.
I knw I just a normal guy to you,
IM NOT MUCH IMPORTANT THAT I THINK TO YOU.
You want kick me out from your world,
NEVERMIND.
I follow what you want me do.
You knw yourself nt love him like last time so deep,
but you also choose him not me.
You still dun wan give me the chance?
My feeling is damn confused now!!!!
I dun think who can understand me in this moment.
PLEASE!!!!
dun just knw hw to hurt me,
you can sayang you also de.
But will you still sayang me???
♥ 4/3/2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010 -{'5:15 AM
I write my blog again.
Suddenly I have many feeling in my heart.
The feeling is back.
I can sad and dun let any ppl knw,
cause I dun wan affect other ppl emo,
especially my dear, Angel Ying.
I forgive you everything not because Im stupid,
it is because I wan treat myself bad also dun wan treat you bad, my dear.
You are a good girl,
but you are a bad girl too.
You honestly told me everything,
just because you wan back to him.
I dun wan you feel sad, so I let you go try with him back le.
actually I dun wan do that.
but this kind of heart pain,
I think I still can tahan a bit.
Before I act like normal,
actually I just wan to give you a reason that you can happily with him.
Love is a thing that cant court clearly.
therefore,
I hope you really can get the happiness that you wan from him.
"Triangel" love must nid a person to get lost.
So, let me get lost.
the word-FOREVER,
I let you and him complete it.
I knw the time when you said you choose him, you are sad.
the world wan to break us.
When my mind occur the time when we sweet sweet,
I really so sad so sad!
I dun knw when my sadness will be end,
maybe it wont end.
Why we love each other,
but we cant together?
Why our love nid change to memory?
I can forget the time or forget myself,
but I cant forget the time we were together and how sweet we were.
What he gave you that make you can forgive him even he hit you?
Angel, Is that Im starting losing you?
Dear, Im waiting you answer me.
What you said to me, really so easily jiu can forget le?
Will you dun care me in one day?
The life without you, Angel is tired and full of sad.
You think you choose the right one,
I just can wish you are correct.
I cant love the one who I most hope to love so
Who I love is not my girl friend,
I found myself really love you so deep.
Who I love alr gt her boy friend.
Dear, you block all my hope and keep on said IMPOSSIBEL to me.
Really impossible?
Actually I dun wan wish both of you are happy.
Am I so weird?
I dun wan wish both of you happy,
because if I wish you happy with him,
it seem like I give up you, my dear.
I cant put down,
you can feel Im small gas or jealous,
but..
IM REALLY SO LOVE YOU, ANGEL YING.
I will keep myself alive,
cause..
I want wait for you love me back.
I believe you will miss me and think dou me in a part.
No matter what is going wrong,
Angel, you still have me beside you.
You left so much sweet memories to me,
it is enough to fill my lonely.
I will wait for you back to me.
It is because.....
I LOVE YOU deep deep.!!!!!!!
I love you, AngelYing
♥ 3/3/2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010 -{'8:42 AM
Midnight now.
Just back from you cha with my dear, Angel.
&
I have a goodbye kiss from you, dear.
WOW....
We talk non stop,
keep on chitchat.
Have fun and laugh sei.
During we yum cha, dear keep on sms with other ppl la.
Suddenly I saw one of the ppl is him.
Dun knw why, I feel upset.
Gt BEH SHUANG de feel.
Crazy la..
I gt no qualification to have those feel.
SORRY!!!!
I keep on act in front of you,
I think dear, you also can feel that.
I keep on said want to kiss other girls, chase other girls..
I knw you BEH SHUANG,
but I just can ACT!!!
actually, I dun hope to say so...
My heart gonna pain non-stop when I act in frot of you.
I wan be myself,
I wan show you my feeling,my emo..
but I cant!
I must care your feeling also..
I must act like Im normal although I lost you..
Then, you no nid feel FAN and can have nice time..
I can let myself sad, let myself pain..
but I cant let you have those feeling!!!
You are my dear, my princess,
Im born to bring you happiness,
but not sadness.
Although I dun hv any qualification,
but I wont stop bring you smile.
Because, make you feel happy is my job,
and it is no nid any single reason.
I LOVE YOU!!!
I said many times of that..
but everytimes I also said it out from my heart.
Because Im really so LOVE YOU...
When I reach home, you asked me call you..
I call you immediately,
and I get a BAD NEWS!!!!
You are BIG HEAD PRAWN!!!
forget bring key and cant go into house..
WORRY..
occur in my mind..
I worry you will kidnap by people.
I worry you dun have place to stay.
I worry you feel cold at outside.
I worry you alone at outside.
I worry you will feel lonely.
I worry everything about you.
It is because I CARE YOU!!!!
I can do anything for you,
because I love you.
What you wan me to do or change,
just tell me.
You dun wan me act in fronf of you,
OK!
I DUN ACT!
You dun wan me contact with any girls,
OK!
I DUN SMS WITH GIRLS!
You wan me take a english name,
OK!
Thats why I call Anson.
You dun wan drink anymore,
OK!
I didnt even touch the alcohol bottle.
You dun allow me clubbing,
OK!
No more clubbing in my life.
Just tell me what you wan to do or change,
I will attend that and do so.
Dun worry, I wont feel pressure to promise you anythings,
because I LOVE YOU.
I dun knw I act in front of you will hurt you so much.
SORRY, my dear.
Im realy so sorry to you.
So, start from now, I wont act anymore.
I will be the real Kong Siew Weng back.
Let me show you...
I miss you now!!!
Do you?
HeartAngelYing <3
♥ FIRST DAY
Tuesday, March 2, 2010 -{'5:38 AM
Before I wrote the blog.
I asked you again
CAN I WITH YOU?
but you told me CANT!
my heart really....
cant find a word to describe it.
In today, you told me you cant lost me,
you want with me but you cant do that.
You hope can with me, but you are with him now.
You said you love me, like me..blablabla.
Im so DAMN happy!
When I working, I receive those message,
I jump up on a road.
So many people look at me.
PAISEH la.
I thought I gt the chance to couple back with you,
but you broken all my hope.
YOU SAID NO!!!
Oh my god, my heart separate! Broken!
I love you, Angel Ying.
my friends said you are fooling me,
but I scold them back.
I said you wont fool me!
and.
I FULLY TRUST YOU UNTIL NOW!!!
I have no feeling to anything now except you.
I dun even feel pain when I knocked my head to the wall.
I just get back my feeling,
when I received your message while some of them are hurt me.
I just get back my feeling,
when I call you or you call me.
WELL!!!!
You want me happy.
OK, I force myself to be happy, I show you my happy face,
I act I dun care anything.
I act I accept you and him.
I act everything because just want to make you happy.
although I feel so sad and heart pain,
but I wont show you.
NEVERMIND!!!
as long as you are happy.
SHOW YOU A SMILE
:)
♥ HEART BROKEN
Monday, March 1, 2010 -{'5:57 AM
10 pm now.
The blog is created by you to me.
You asked me to build a blog to myself.
I did it.
and I knw why you wan to do so.
It is for me to say all the things all,
after you say BREAK UP to me.
Today morning, you said you wan only be friend with he and me.
I silent.
I said nothing.
Afternoon, you said you miss me so much, you wan meet me in the night.
I happy till jump up.
Night, you told me you are singing k with your sister and HIM.
I small gas. I jealous.
Then I so cool to you.
You scold me back.
You said you miss me therefore you asked me go Jusco find you.
I still said sorry to you.
and
I go asked my friends to lend me motorcycle.
At that time, you and me are super happy.
In the 09.03 pm, you bring the bad news!!!!
YOU SAID SORRY TO ME and YOU CHOOSE HIM!
Finally, you choose him le.
You choose a guy
who hurt you, beat you, said bad words to you,
dun care you, said together with you only wan to fuck you.
Your family and his family also dun like each other,
your future with him is a question,
but you still choose him not me.
Am I really so worst when compare with him?
Worst till this level?
I have nothing to say.
You give up me,
I treat you as good as possible.
but I also cant GAN DONG you.
I feel myself so SHIT!!!!!
You said you love me,
but you choose him.
When you being with me, you recieve his call, meet him,
then you cried!
You will feel sad when you heard what he said?
but to me,
now I also sad,
I also have many things to say,
but..
You didnt feel sad.
At least you didnt show me, you are sad because of me.
Everytimes you also think to him before think abt me,
I never complain to you.
Because I love you...
Everytimes you treat him better than me,
unfair to me,
I SAID NOTHING & FORGIVE YOU
because I love you.
I accept your past, but you cant.
I explain to you again and again.
You have no confident to me,
then I changed.
Changed to be your perfect boy friend.
I cant say Im perfect to you,
but at least I was try my best.
I didnt cry before receive your message.
but after that,
my tears came out from my eyes slowly.
tear and tear.
How worst am I?
I cried le.
I fall down le.
Fall down seriously.
but hw can I wake up?
How much you hurt me?
I cant court and I dun knw!
So fast so good.
You changed you relationship status with him.
WELL!!!!
You see...
Hurt again!!!!
Can I just leave from the world?
maybe it is a stupid action,
but I dun knw what I still can do except that.
You hurt me once and once,
but I still love you so much.
why?
just because I FALL IN LOVE TO YOU.
just because
I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME
You said you love me just now,
but.
YOU CHOOSE HIM!!!!
You call me in 10.19pm,
but just two seconds,
you end the call,
how hurt?
I BACK TO SINGLE...
My friends told me, I should happy.
but why?
I cant!!!!
because I lock you in my heart.
but now, only I gt you in my heart,
YOU ALR KICK ME OUT FROM YOUR HEART!!!
LOVE IS GIVEN BY YOU
BUT YOU TAKE IT BACK NOW!!
You said I bring you happiness in this half month,
You said thank you to me.
but what I wan is nt a thank you or apologize.
I WANT YOU! ANGEL YING.
but I knw, You dun want me!
KONG SIEW WENG is dead!
